Hail to the Chief: Has it Been Two Years Already?

Dear Chief,

Geez, has it been two years now? That is so hard to imagine. It still seems like yesterday when we talked on the phone that last time on a Sunday night.

Just like we always did.

It's always good to try and catch you up on things dad, because it's kind of my way of looking back at a year gone by.

And this one wasn't so great.

You already know about the biggie. Ilyse.

Never for a second have I doubted that she is sitting there with you every morning having your cup of coffee. And catching up on things. While keeping you honest and out of trouble. Which is a bit of table flipping, but then again, she always kept you honest whether you'd admit it or not.

It's so weird with her not being here anymore, things happened so very fast. Mom still says it seems like she's just off working somewhere and in a way it kind of feels like that to me too. It was so hard to see what happened, I'm not sure I could really ever describe it other than to say I was there for her as best I could be and it is still hard to digest, she is younger than me, it's not supposed to happen like that.

We had gotten a lot closer over the past few years and talked fairly regularly, all the way up to the end. Sure, we always kept tabs on each other...but we didn't talk as much when we were younger.

Mom is doing okay. She still has her good days and bad ones. I know she misses you terribly, but I'm proud of how hard she is trying to keep moving forward. We talk 2 or 3 times a week, I like checking in on her and I'm trying really hard to keep her spirits up and challenge her to do things.

Ilyse's friends have been great too. They call and visit mom a lot, they have her over and they go do things around town to get her out of the house. I can't describe to you how happy it makes me that they do that.

Jordan is doing okay. She talks to you a lot, I know how close you were. It's hard to believe she has 2 kids now, but she is so good with them, such a doting mom. And she's showing signs of growing up a little. It's been a challenge, but she does act responsibly more often than not these days. Sure, she has days where it's all about her, but she really has made the effort to be better about helping mom on occasion. Though I think Bubby has a hand in that too, he really does a pretty good job trying to keep her grounded.

As for me and Michelle.

We are doing very well. She is so incredible, the best thing that has or will ever happen to me in my entire life. We have so much fun just being together, doing fun things, making each other happy.

Things for me changed a bit about 2 weeks ago, I got laid off from work. It really sucked, they just ushered us (my team, 9 of us) in a room and said "You are done". It wasn't a total surprise, but it was very disappointing. I think the worst part aside from the crappy timing of the holiday season, was they didn't even consider finding other roles for any of us.

So I'm looking for work--again. Jon and Mark have done me a huge favor and got me some freelance work with them at Georgia Public Sports, they've been wanting me to work for them for years. And I'm looking hard for opportunities here, but it's tough. I'm not as young as I used to be and there aren't tons of opportunities out there. I have to admit, I'm a little worried.

Aside from that, you'd be so proud of how healthy I've become. I've kept the weight off and still run 3 times a week.

I did my first 10K in July (Peachtree Road Race), but you know that. I'm running another one on Thursday and really looking forward to it. I love the hard work that has to be put in to train for a race, love the sweat, really love the challenge.

Michelle is doing great. She always misses you, I've told you before how much she loved just sitting with you and talking about anything. She misses that, a lot.

Her work is going well as usual, she does so many things and Macy's leans on her really hard, but she always perseveres, always wow's them.

It's been tough dealing with her mom though. We got Gale to an assisted living place early in the year, which we had to do, but Gale has been bitter and angry at us ever since. We've got a lot of challenges to overcome there still and honestly, I don't know how it's going to play out.  I'm very worried her problems are going to roll into our issues to fix. I don't know when,  but it's starting to happen already. And it's going to be a problem.

Lastly, Rosie and the cats.

Rosie is awesome, you'd love her. Even if she doesn't play catch. She is such a sweet-natured dog. You met her when she was a pup, she's mellowed a bit. She's so much like Daze it's funny. She follows me everywhere and is perfectly happy to be wherever I am. She still has her moments, like when she chases squirrels or tries to eat acorns when we walk, but she is really well behaved.

The cats...well, we are trying to get them adopted out. It was a difficult decision, both are sweet at heart. But we are having trouble keeping up with them and maintaining things the way we should for them. And Rosie always wants to play with them, which neither like so much.

I guess I'll wrap things up now, I need to update the OSG website and see what else is going on in the world today. I don't have a ton on the agenda, but it's a Saturday and you know I don't sit still really well, so I'll have to find something to keep me entertained. Michelle has an event at her Wine Club (1st rule of Wine Club, you don't talk about Wine Club) and I don't get to go.

So there's that.

Hope things are well with you. I really, really miss getting to talk to you every week. I also miss just going to hang out with you and laughing about your old stories. But I'm trying really hard to make you proud, really hard to keep you smiling. I never wanted you to have to worry about me and I still don't. But I want you to know that I'm always thinking about you and no, I don't get sad when I do. 

I smile...

Mostly because I know you wouldn't want it any other way.

Love you,

Phil

Back Where We Started: Do It Again

Okay---sigh---, so yeah, I don't post much here anymore unless I've got some deep thoughts or stuff going on.

And well, if you haven't heard, that's pretty much what's happening.

For those unaware: Yup, got laid off from work yesterday. The Weather Channel eliminated my team. Which kinda sucks.

But I'm not angry, I bear no ill will towards them, I understand what was going on and I know why it had to happen. Though I may not agree with it, it's business. And right now they are struggling.

It's unfortunate and while I'm not so much angry, I am a little sad. I got to work with some amazing, fun and talented people. Despite all that went on and didn't work right in that building, I could never say enough good things about the people that I worked with.

For the first time in my career, I actually worked someplace where everyone was totally devoted to the product. Totally about doing what was best for the team. There was very little of the back-stabbing or selfishness often seen in the TV business.

Great group of people.

And I'm really, honestly going to miss the people on my team. They got rid of all 9 of us. Chad Clark, Beth Hemphill, Noelle Reetz, Mandy Carranza, Mark Somers, Keith O'Shea, Jose (Joe) Hernandez, Jon (Yvegni) Spevak and John Alleva. Chad, Noelle, Beth and I were originals. We started together back in March of 2012. Along with our boss Jim Proeller, Matt Saffer, Alex Sembra and Jim Robinson, we launched what at the time was called the "Cross Platform/Video Producer" team.

Matt, Alex and Jim R. moved on to other roles but the rest of us stayed as our roles changed and never were able to be fully defined. We all had similar, but different skill sets and for lack of a better way to put it, were the utility infielders of the newsroom. We did a little bit of everything.

But we all, all of us, immediately hit it off. We all became fast friends, it was like we'd known each other for years. It was scary, we could finish each others sentences almost immediately.

We did a lot for the Weather Channel, helped them at least get on the road to becoming what they want to be. For years, they just kind of cruised along, doing forecasts, talking weather maps and never evolved with the times.

They are still having a tough time with that, but leaving the place, it's a totally different operation than it was when I walked in the door for the first time. The web and mobile teams are at the forefront. They should be. They are the future. That team does an amazing job amassing information, processing it, and getting it on the web and on your phone.

The TV folks are still struggling. Years of neglect, technology issues and lack of staff have dogged them for years. But it's not for lack of effort. There were times: Superstorm Sandy, the various Winter Storms that shut down Atlanta and others, where the work was extraordinary. We did things that Fox News or CNN could never do. With a lot less staff.

I will forever be grateful for the time I spent at the Weather Channel, I got to on occasion do some fun things. I got to storm chase with the franchise--Jim Cantore in Bermuda. They paid for me to go hang out at Sony Motion Picture studios in L.A for a week and learn about 4K video. I got to work on my writing and editing skills. And I got to lead the network in the transition from Final Cut 7 to Adobe Premiere Editing, doing all the beta testing and figuring out how to meld it into our workflow and systems.

So....now I get to look for a job...again. It's my 3rd go around in this world, I'm hoping I haven't forgotten how to do it.

I was out of work for nearly six months when Michelle and I moved to Cincinnati. But 60 resumes and tons of rejection letters later, I found an opportunity and jumped all over it.

When we moved back to Atlanta, same thing. No job. But I had a built in network. And because of that network, I found work pretty fast.

And that network has already reached out. I've got some freelance work already lined up. And some leads on open positions.

So it's time.

The resume has already been updated: Confession, I updated it about a month ago. I knew something was up, just didn't know what. My schedule got changed to horrible hours and I started the preparation process. I know better.

Sure, the timing sucks. Very few hire during the holidays. But I will start moving forward. And not looking back. I will remember the good times at the Weather Channel and I hope to stay in touch with everyone. But as the saying goes "Time waits for no one", and I'm not getting any younger.

I'm looking for stability, I want to go work somewhere where I can finish my career. I've accomplished so many things and had some unbelievable experiences. But I'm not 30-years old anymore either, I started as a journalist in 1988, that's a long time ago. I want to pass what I know on to others, I want to make people better at what they do.

I want to pass down what I've learned. I've learned at the feet from some of the best people in the storytelling business. It's a legacy that was passed on to them, they passed it on to me.

I hope I get a chance to keep passing that legacy on to a new generation....

 

I did it for you....

Dear Chief and Ilyse:

I know it's been awhile since we've talked, but really, I do always think about y'all and I'm writing this time because I have to thank you.

You may not know this. Heck, nobody really knows this because I really haven't talked about it...but I did something on Friday, July 4th, 2014 in your honor. I did something that I know you both would have been never thought I'd do, but once I made my mind up, you knew I'd accomplish it.

I ran in the Peachtree Road Race here in Atlanta along with 60,000 or so others. The race, billed as the worlds largest 10K is an Atlanta tradition.

But you know that.

I ran it because I wanted to do something to honor you both with an accomplishment. Sure, there was the sense of accomplishment for me. It's something I always thought would be cool to say I've done. And something that I can say I've done before I reached the age of 50.

I did it.

Sure, the training has been a challenge, but you both know how much I love a good challenge. And yeah, I know, I hated to run as a kid, even though I had to for sports. I always preferred to just play my way in shape, which was good enough to a point...

I also had gotten fat. I got out of shape. And you both know I was always athletic growing up. Fast too. To see the look on the faces of Coach Peterson and the other basketball coaches at Lake Brantley when I ran a 4.79 and 4.80 40-yard dash back-to-back was priceless.

But as I got older and work got in the way I didn't play so much. Heck, after my ankle injury and surgeries I didn't think I'd ever be able to do much athletically any more.

I got past it.

Dad, you'd be proud and I know you were smiling while I ran. I've lost so much weight (40lbs in two years), I look a lot healthier and younger than I ever have. (Except for my ever graying beard)

And Ilyse, you'd be smiling too because you always knew how much I wanted to accomplish things. You more than anyone always knew how much I hated to lose...at anything. And that I could never be happy unless I was successful in whatever I did.

That in large part is why I'm thanking you both. You both were my inspiration. You both helped me decide that I had the strength to pull this off. I wish so much that you both could have been there with Michelle to see what I did. The smile on her face when she found me at the Family Meet-up area made the both of us well up and nearly cry.

I'm sorry that I haven't gotten to come see both of you lately, it's been tough. We've been very busy and have our hands full dealing with Michelle's mom. But we take some solace knowing things have settled down a bit in South Carolina and that we don't have to rush down there and help everyone.

I'll try my best to write more often, because really, you both know I express my thoughts and feelings better this way than talking out loud about them. For whatever reason, I've always been that way.

But again, you both know that.

I miss you both terribly and I wanted to let you know in the best way that I could how much you both helped me. I hope you are both having a good laugh and Ilyse I know is keeping you honest dad. Because that's what she always does.

If everything works out, we are going to come visit next week. Michelle and I will smile real big, say a big and hearty hello and be very happy in the knowledge that you both are immensely proud of us.

Much love,

Phil

Letter to The Chief: Catching Up On Things

Dear Chief,

I've been trying to figure out the best way to write you for the past few days. I finally just decided that I can't put it off, it's time to catch up.

It's been a full year today (Nov.22nd) since you've gone and yeah, you've been missed. A lot. I still remember our last Sunday night call and will never forget it. I never told you enough how much I looked forward to that call. It is and was always the best way to kick off my week.

Sure, we've visited a few times in the past year. And I've always tried to catch you up on things when Michelle and I came to see you.

And it's getting busy again.

The first part of the year was a challenge. I had a few health issues early in the year and it was a little scary. Turns out I have the same problem you did: Vasovagal Syncopathy. I passed out twice (both times at Hospital) and spent some time in Intensive Care. It really sucked. The second time I passed out, I landed on my head and got a really bad concussion. I'm not sure I've ever been more scared about my own mortality.

It took a couple of weeks for the concussion symptoms to go away. Quite possibly one of the weirdest feelings/experiences of my life.

And then there was my foot. I had a pretty big bone spur on my heel that I had to get removed. That was a little more routine, it was a tamer version of my ankle surgery. The procedure was a success.

Finally there was my shoulder. You always told me I'd have problems when I got older if I kept carrying around the big camera.

You were right.

I hurt my rotator cuff, again. This time it was a small tear, but I lost all strength in my right arm for about two weeks. We thought it might lead to surgery, but I was able to rehabilitate it. But not before I had an MRI. The doctor looked at it and just kind of smiled. He said "You're lucky. You have a very small tear, but it should heal without surgery. But you also have arthritis and the tendons are pretty worn." I didn't laugh, but all I could think of was your warning.

Thankfully, my health has improved. A lot. I've lost 40 pounds since last fall (2012). I'm down to just over 220 and to be honest, am in the best shape I've been since I was at Lake Brantley. I ran in another 5K this summer and did really well and I'm in the gym 3-times a week. But the thing you'll be happiest about is changing my diet. I don't drink sweet tea at all. I'm very careful about what I eat and how much I eat. And boy, it's really made a difference.

Work has been really good. I love the people I work with, they are an absolute blast, I really look forward to going in and teaming up with them. My role continues to evolve, I'm trying to come up with more stories to do, some days it's harder than others, but I keep pushing forward.

I get to go to California in a couple of weeks. Work is sending me there as part of a team looking to add new 4K video technology to The Network. It should be a great learning experience and I'm really looking forward to the project.

As for Michelle, she's doing good.  She really misses you though. As much as I loved talking with you, I think she may have loved it more. And she, like me, thinks about you…a lot.

She continues doing amazing things at work. She's launched at least 3 more of her websites and has become quite the Producer of Videos. I always get a laugh about that, I'm sure you are too, never thought she'd start moving into my world, but she is.

She still travels a lot, but not as much as last year (or so it seems). And she's very close to getting her Gold Status back. You'd be proud. She got us a free flight to Louisiana last month and we've yet to pay for the hotel we stay at in Lafayette. We always use points to pay for it.

You'll be glad to know we are working on a plan to move her mom up here. Gale's actually open to it now. We've just gotta find the right fit and put our game plan in action. We're hoping she'll be here by this time next year.

Rosie is doing well. She's 2 now and starting to become a grown up pup. You taught me very well about raising dogs, but I'm still a softie most of the time. Still, Rosie is a sweetheart, you'd love spending time with her, though she has Daisy's wild streak. Only more amplified.

The cat, well, Oliver is Oliver. He seemed to really like you when you visited with him. And he doesn't get clingy with many visitors. He's still fat, but hasn't gotten bigger. He's sort of stabilized…

Both Oliver and Rosie are sitting with me now as write this in the loft, they both follow me everywhere I go, but that shouldn't surprise you. Plus it's Rosie's dinner time.

Oh, by the way, you'd be happy to hear the Braves are moving closer to us in Smyrna. The team just announced they are going to build (along with the County) a new stadium and entertainment complex at the I-75/I-285 interchange.

Yes, I'll pass by it every day heading to work.

If they actually pull this off, you'd probably love the idea. You always used to tell me you'd have gone more to games if there were something to do around the stadium. And you do know I always knew that you liked going to the games, even if you wouldn't admit it. I never got to tell you how much I appreciated you coming with me to the games when I'd come visit. It meant more to me than you'll ever know.

Yeah, I know that's a lot, but it's been a year now, and honestly, I didn't even get into everything.

There's a lot going on now, you know what they are. But you also know how much of a motivator you were when times were like this. And yes, we all draw a lot of strength from it. Again, probably more than you'd think.

I've had to step into your shoes for some of this and I'll be really honest. It's very strange to me. I don't think I'm not up to the task, it's just different. It's an adjustment. I didn't ever have to worry about watching out for everyone much because you usually took care of it.

Sure, there were exceptions, like when you had your cancer battle, but I'm not sure back then I could handle what I've got to do now. But I'm very sure I'm up to it now. You probably have no idea how much I learned from watching you deal with that and other things. I learned a lot. A lot about you and a lot about our family, but I also learned a lot about myself. You also told me once you've never met anyone who "Learned so much by watching others" as I did. That's exactly what happened.

Between that and Michelle being there to keep me humble, focused and grounded, I'm trying to make things better for everyone the best I can. And I will continue to do that. I'm very sure I'll make some mistakes, but like always I'll learn and not repeat them. I'll get better at it. I will continue living what you always told me, "Take what you think is a weakness and make it a strength". I have to.

Most of all, I just wanted to tell you how much I miss you. As much as we all move on, as much as things change I just want you to continue to be proud. As many times you tried to tell me we were different, we were--and are more than same than either one of us ever thought we'd be.

Much love and we'll come visit you in a couple days,

Phil


This is forever attached to you:

How Time Flies: Re-Living The Past and Football Weekends

Me at UGA/Kentucky Game

I think it was the 55 degree morning. Getting up on a clear, sunny Saturday morning to walk Rosie. Just me and the dog, nobody else out in the neighborhood at 7:30 on a slightly crisp and pleasant morning.

But it all came back to me in a rush.

It felt like a football Saturday. It felt like a morning from back in 2003, 04, 05, 06, 07 or 08. And during that time for me, it was all about the football.

And a lack of sleep.

My weekends for 5-years, from late August to early December were totally booked. They were a blur. Most weeks, High School Football on Friday, Georgia football on Saturday and Falcons on Sunday.

And no, I wasn't going to any of those games to watch.

Friday was Football Friday. It was what I called our High School Football segment. And since I was the Sports Photographer and Producer at WGCL-TV in Atlanta, I could call it whatever I wanted to.

For the first two years, it was come in at 2, make sure everyone had their assignments, then wait for the helicopter to come pick up Mark Harmon and I. We flew to two games shot a little from the air, shot a little from the ground and moved on. Fly back to the midtown Atlanta offices and edit our story.

From there, it was making sure the other 4 guys shooting for us got back and they edited their games. A lot of times it meant sitting with them and writing their game script too.

Me at UGA/Alabama game

Then go sit in the control room, make sure we had the time we needed for our segment and we were done.

If I was lucky, I was home by 12:30, in bed by 1 or 1:30 and then....

Georgia Saturday's. I think this is why I always look back and reminisce at some point during the football season. I got to cover these guys for 6 years and co-wrote a book on them.

It was my favorite part of football season.

A typical day (like Saturday's LSU game) is for a 3:30 p.m kick, up by 8, at the station by 10 and out the door. It took at least 90 minutes to get to the stadium, if we left later, it would be even longer. Lunch in the press box with the gang.

At that time, we did a post game show after the games. It was mostly live, so we had 5-10 people there with us. The 1st couple years it was all live at the stadium (we scaled back later). Which meant we were going the whole time.

A 3:30 kickoff meant the game ended around 7. I was the lead on site, so I made the assignments. 1-2 live cameras, a runner and then I took care of the post game. That meant running into the locker room, getting 5-10 interviews and sprinting back to the truck to turn a couple of them for the show.

Me at UGA Game with the guys

And finally, after the show ended, editing together an interview/highlight story for the 11 p.m show.

By the time I got back, dropped everyone off and got home. It was 11p.m.  collapsing in bed by midnight. It was a long day.

And then....

If the Falcons were at home, the alarm went off at 8 for a 1p.m kickoff. I was at the station by 10 and at the Georgia Dome by 10:30 or 11. Lunch in the press room and on the field by 12:30. Shoot the game, get post, go back and edit together a story.

Me at Falcons/Bears game

As an added bonus, during the 2006 season, I had to work the Falcons games and produce the Sunday night 30 minute wrap up show we did.

That was a typical weekend and at the time I loved it.

I could never do it now. And I say that knowing a lot of guys who still do. Blaine Kummert at WAGA, Eric Hager at WSB in Atlanta. Bob Kusek and Brian McKeegan in Nashville. Philip Lee and Mark Slaughter in Cincinnati. And there are more.

I love, admire and respect all those guys and in some ways, miss them.

But I could never do that schedule again.

Never.

Ironically. My life no longer revolves around football games. I work at the Weather Channel and love it. I'm not working on the weekends. But I'd rather go to a festival or hit golfballs or go to someplace cool for dinner than plan my weekend around a football game.

Sure, I get grief from my friends, but they may...or may not understand. My entire life revolved around football games for a long, long time. I have no interest in going back to it....

When the Warranty Runs Out

My office for the week

Okay, I'll say it.

It sucks getting old.

Now that I'm much closer to 50 than 40, things that used to work well are working slower and in some cases, aren't working at all. (And before you say it, the part you are thinking of, works just fine---dirty minded bastards)

I say this as I lay in bed, with my foot propped up under 3 pillows with a soft cast on. And as much as I'd like to say surgery on my heel has been my only issue this year, it hasn't been.

A lot of the cliches you hear growing up have some truth to them. As a teen, I was told repeatedly to take better care of my ankle injuries because it would catch up to me when I'm older. In my 20's, if you carry a camera too long, you'll end up with bad shoulders. My 30's, slow down, you are working too much and protect your eye's the more you strain them the worse they are going to get.

And every one of those sayings came true.

The ankle part I kind of expected. I played sports as a kid and was very active. Playing basketball, my ankles rolled, a lot. And they got worse after the BIG injury. As a high school junior, I was playing in a Spring game when I came down on someone's foot grabbing a rebound, turned my ankle all the way right and left. Blew out all the ligaments and tendons.

My high school graduation present--ankle surgery and this from my doctor--"Just so you know, you'll deal with arthritis in your ankle from here on in". And as a teen, I just shrugged it off.

In my 20's, I began my TV career as a Video Photographer and Producer. I loved what I did and was good at it. I carried a camera until I was 44-years old. And it the 5,6 and sometimes 7 days a week of carrying a 20+ pound anchor on my right shoulder, eventually took a toll. Rotator cuff problems and arthritis at the end. I could barely raise my arm over my head.

Shooting Sports Back in the Day

The 30's, it was my eyes. Imagine growing up with perfect eyesight and starting a career in the visual arts. And one day you are sprawled out on the couch reading a book. You decide to get up and fall over from dizziness. Only to find out your eyes were messed up from straining because you can't see as well as you used to.

And it's gotten progressively worse. Some 15-years later, I can't see anything without my glasses. Anything. If you see me driving a car without either my prescription sunglasses or regular glasses on, you probably need to get out of the way. Heck, as recently as 2006, I could go work a football game during the day and shoot with non-prescription sunglasses on. Did it all the time and was one of the best Sports Photographers in the business. Today, I couldn't do it if I wanted to. I can't look in the viewfinder and see anything but a blur. And as an added bonus, I apparently have a cyst in one of my eyes, I'm going to see a specialist about it next week.

Once you cross the 40 threshold weird things begin happening too. I got a surprise trip to the hospital at the end of February. The reason. Apparently I suffer from Vasovagal Syncopothy (sp?). I passed out twice in the span of 12 hours. Thankfully, the Lovely Bride got me to the hospital, because I could feel the 1st one coming. And apparently, I passed out in the ER waiting room right after someone asked me my name. I woke up a few minutes later in a trauma room having no idea what happened. The second time was in the hospital after being kept for observation, I passed out and landed on my head in the bathroom of my hospital room. And that lead to a concussion. A serious one at that.

Concussion Recovery

I don't recommend ever getting a concussion, and I now totally get why Sports teams on every level from Little League to the Pros should make a big deal about them. Imagine waking up dizzy, with a headache that won't go away and unable to do much of anything but feel like you are hung over---even though you didn't drink anything.

I couldn't lay on my back without the room spinning or triggering a headache until very recently (2 months later). And believe me when I say this, it was one of the most miserable experiences of my life.


Which brings me back to the beginning. I just had a rather large chunk of bone taken out of the side of my heel. The growth was apparently an accumulation of fragments from previous injuries. Why take it out? Because, basically it prevented me from being active. I could walk on it. Even run on it. But that meant an hour of ice afterwards. Just going to the store was a chore because it really hurt afterwards.

So yeah, my point is this. When you are less than 40-years old, you consider yourself sort of indestructible, you can bounce back from anything. And to an extent, you can. But it takes a toll. And much like a car with a limited or even an extended warranty, it eventually catches back up with you. So be careful, but have fun. Don't limit yourself, ever, but remember, if you do get hurt, take care of it. Take care of it well and don't jump back in until you are completely and totally healthy.

As I write this I'm 48-years old. I've got a LOT of mileage on me, but I kind of enjoy being semi-active. I started working out regularly again and watching what I eat. I've lost 35-pounds since August of 2012. I plan on keeping that off and staying healthy. Even if the warranty has kind of run out, I plan on getting my money's worth out of what ever mileage is left.

On that note, I give you one my all-time favorite rock songs ever...

How to say Goodbye or Not....

The Chief

It's been a very strange two weeks. Twelve of the past 14 days have been spent in South Carolina dealing with my father's illness and death.

For some reason, you think about a lot of things in your life when something like this happens, it's hard not to. And I say this for several reasons.

It's been a blur as to what happened. The Chief (my nickname for Dad) had not been in great health for a long time. He survived Non-Hodgkins Lymphoma in 1998-99. But it took a toll. It left his immune system wrecked. It left him with very little to deal with infection. Any infection.

The Chief and Oliver

And this one hit suddenly. Out of nowhere. I will always remember our last conversation, as sad as it makes me. He called every Sunday night at 8 p.m. Not 7:59, not 8:01, but 8 on the dot. And it always started with me "Hey Chief, what's goin' on with you?"

We talked for about 15-minutes or so like normal, nothing particularly deep, nothing crazy, pretty routine and he handed the phone off to my mother.

And we didn't think anything else about it.

Until that Tuesday.

Mom called and said they were at the hospital and it was pretty bad. The Chief had been throwing up since Sunday night--non stop. He wasn't able to hold anything down. And nobody knew exactly what was wrong. While I was concerned, I also was thinking, he gets pneumonia every couple of months, this too will pass.

Me and The Chief/Graduation Day

It didn't.

I called again on Wednesday for an update and Mom was very upset. I talked to my sister who was there. Same thing. I asked if they needed me and they said not yet.

The next day just didn't feel right. I can't put my finger on it, it just didn't feel like a normal day. I was nervous and decided to go catch a movie to take my mind off things.

I never finished the movie. My sister called. My Aunt (Mom's sister) called. Mom called. All in a 30 minute stretch. And what stood out to me was this. Mom said it's still getting worse, it's not looking good, I don't know what to do.

Michelle and I had already talked. I told her the day before something's not right, we might have to go. And she was ready for it. Because I called her around 3 p.m and said "We've gotta go, this is bad". We were at my parents house 6 hours later.

The whole time, all I could think of was this: The Sunday phone call can't be it. It can't be the last conversation. It's not possible.

Ist Day at Ga.Southern/With Roomie Mark McLean

We moved The Chief to a hospital in Savannah the next day. It was bad. He was transported in an ambulance. The doctor said it was viral meningitis. But nobody could figure out how he got it. Viral meningitis is never a good thing, but for most of us, it's something we can cycle through after a few days.

Not The Chief.

Before he left the hospital in Bluffton, he had to be sedated. He was essentially put into a coma. And still, all I could think of was the last conversation.

We set up camp at St. Joseph's Hospital in Savannah. My mom wouldn't leave the Neural ICU. Michelle and I went back to her house and cleaned it up, straightened everything. And by Saturday...nothing had changed.

One of the toughest decisions I've ever made was the one I was faced with on Saturday. Do I stay? Do we go back? Michelle had to be back. She had a meeting to run in Cincinnati on Monday. She was flying out Sunday. And The Chief, while not improving, wasn't regressing.

Chief at Work/Circa 1985

We went home. We picked up Rosie (the dog) from the kennel and came home. Michelle flew to Cincinnati and I went back to work. And stayed in constant communication. I knew that I was off beginning Thanksgiving morning and off for the next week.

So I held out hope we didn't have to go back until then.

Mom called Monday as I was getting home from work. "It's not good". "He's not getting better". "The Doctor thinks he may not and we may have to make a decision".   And with that my mind was racing--"How can that be?"  "How can they not be able to do anything?" "How can we have to make that decision?". I didn't leave Monday afternoon, though I could have. I hadn't been sleeping well and didn't get much sleep before work. And I had to find somewhere to put Rosie. And Michelle was out of town.

Even with the holiday, I managed to get Rosie to stay at her vet's office. And Michelle got a flight back on Tuesday.

Chief with My Niece Jordan/His Granddaughter

But I left early, as soon as I could get Rosie to the vet.

I got there just after lunch and Mom was in a daze. She knew. Me, I didn't know what to think. How do you wrap your hands around something like this? Sure, in the back of my mind, I knew this might happen one day--but not now.

Michelle got there a couple of hours after me. And we all had to figure out what to do. Mom had already known.

The Chief and I had conversation about what to do if this ever happened. He had it with my sister and my mom too. And that's why we knew what we had to do.

We spoke to the doctor on Wednesday (day before Thanksgiving) and he asked us to give it 48-hours. We agreed but decided that had to be it. We knew. He wasn't improving and it was looking more and more like he wasn't going to. They were having a harder and harder time keeping him stable. His vitals were getting worse, not better.

But how do you just say "Pull the plug?"

We had to talk Mom into going back to the house Wednesday night. We were hoping that if it was going to be 48-hours, we could get her a good meal and some rest.

Visit at Ga. Southern/Parents Day

Thursday morning, we were all up at the crack of dawn. Not because we had to be, but nobody could sleep. And then my sister called to check on him. Mind you, when we left the night before, she and I spoke to his nurse and said "If there are ANY issues, please call us".

She didn't.

The Chief's heart was giving out. He was running out of steam.

We went back Thursday morning as soon as we could. And one of the first people we saw was his hematologist.  It got worse. "His white blood cell count is 0.5". Mind you it was 1.5 the day before. And this was while on medication to improve it.

That's when it hit. This was it. His doctor came and saw us that morning. We all were there. And Mom said it. She had to. It was her decision. "Take him off the ventilator, it's what he would want". But she wanted to wait until her sister got there to do it. And she was still an hour and a half away.

So we sat there. And thought about it. And all I could think of was "That was it, the Sunday call was our last talk?"

Mom and Dad Wedding Day/1963

By 2 p.m we were in his room. And the nurse took him off the ventilator.

We stood there. My mom in tears, my sister and niece as well. I cried for a couple minutes, how could I not? And I didn't move. Michelle stood next to me the whole time. I wasn't going to move. As long as he was still there, he was still breathing, I wasn't moving.

It seemed like a blur, like it happened in minutes, but it didn't. It took over an hour. And I never moved. Not a step.

The Chief passed away, peacefully, at 3:45 p.m on November 22nd. Ken Cantor was 72 years old. He is survived by my mom, me and my wife, my sister, her daughter (my niece) and a great-grandaughter.

Michelle and I waited and were the last to leave the room. It took a couple of minutes. His eye was open just a little, I closed it.  But we did leave. We walked out, we bowed, we saluted and we walked away with the rest of the family.

And all I could think about was the Sunday call was it....the last talk.

Time heals most wounds and softens the sadness. I know this. But it's so strange to me. I'm not sure I've wrapped my arms around all this and don't know if I ever will. The Chief and I became very close, and yes, there was a time we weren't. But as we both got older and wiser, we got closer. He was the best man at my wedding in 2007. I couldn't think of a better honor, it was the best present I could ever give him. And seeing his face that day was one of the single greatest moments of my life.

I got home Wednesday night, just about two weeks after this all started. And it feels really weird. I stayed behind for a couple of days to make sure Mom is good. She is. I think. I don't really know. We talked a little about things, but not in great detail. We talked about what's next, what to do, where does she go from here. She has said the same thing over and over again.

And all I could think about was the Sunday call.

I'm not sure how this Sunday is going to be, not talking to him. Like I said earlier, we didn't always have a deep conversation, but I really looked forward to the call as much as he did. I know how proud he is of me and that I made him happy with my success, I've been a good son. He told me so. And I know that is the greatest thing you could ever do for your parents. But it doesn't make it any easier.

I'll be okay and life will go on. I know this. Everyone deals with loss in a different way. I've seen it so much in my career and it worries me a little that I've become sort of numb to it. But I'm not. The SINGLE biggest thing that The Chief taught me was to always be positive, always look ahead, always take the good from the bad.

And that's what I'm doing. In my own way, I'm incredibly sad, but at the same time I'm incredibly happy. I got to be raised by parents who love me and did everything they could to help me succeed. And I take strength from that. I will not look back and be sad. I will not wallow in my grief. I will celebrate what he did and make myself better from the experience. It's the only way I know to honor him, it's the only way I know to celebrate him. It's the only way I know to make things better.

Settling in: Or Back Where We Started

Mi Casa

Well, we've been back in the Atlanta area for about 5 weeks now and you can say that, yeah, we've started finally settling in.

And yes, in a lot of ways we are living the cliched life.

The house, thankfully, is almost completely unpacked (except for the loft), we've got most everything where it needs to be and we've started buying the stuff we need to finish filling the place out.

It's been nice being busy almost every weekend, but for me, it almost feels a bit like I've stepped back two years.

It hasn't been quite the same as the first couple of months in Cincinnati for a few reasons. Mostly because I've been finding some stuff to keep busy and have been slowly catching up with people that I haven't seen in a while.

Me at Nebraska game

I also got a couple of freelance gigs, which, quite honestly were fun. Sure, it required me to shoot again, but it was with a small camera and very, very light gear. And I did, quite honestly, enjoy it. I got to go to Nebraska for a University of Nebraska game and Lubbock, TX for a Texas Tech game, shooting a segment for a friends production company. We did promotional spots for Texas Pete Hot Sauce (tasty). And I'm pretty sure there is no chance I'd go to either place if it wasn't something like that.

The challenge now is finding regular work. It's been a little different than it was in Cincinnati for several reasons. The biggest: there are jobs here. Not a lot of them, but a few. And I have friends trying to help me get them. And slowly but surely, they are starting to pan out. I just wish they'd pan out a little faster, but most of you who know me realize my ADD gets the best of me sometimes.

I've talked to a couple of people who are interested in bringing me on-board, but they can't do it right now. And it isn't one of those "We don't have an opening, call me when you do" kind of things.

Me at Texas Tech Game

And then there is this. I'm waiting on word when I can start over at CNN working on a freelance basis. No, it isn't full-time, but it is work. And good work. And something I'm really interested in doing.

Really,we've been doing stuff too.

Our second week here, we had to go to Louisiana to see Michelle's mom. It wasn't an "Ideal" trip, but worked out ok. We've been out to dinner several times with friends and we've even gone to see a Foo Fighters concert.

So yeah, we've been pretty busy. That accounts for 3 of our 5 weekends. Two of those being me travelling, one, both of us. And one where we baby sat Michelle's niece.

Now comes the next step, yeah, it's really, really tough sitting at home waiting for something to happen to keep me busy. But yet that is exactly what I'm doing. And no, I'm not stressed over it because I really believe that I will be working regularly again. Soon.

The Forever Move

Air Mattress--oy, my back

How long has it been now?

I'm not a big fan of moving. For that matter, I'm not sure that I know anyone who is.

On the odd chance you don't know, yes, after a little over 2-years in Cincinnati, The Lovely Bride and I are returning to Georgia. We bought a really cool house in Smyrna and though we announced it a month ago (seems like a year), we are moving in full this week.

There is nothing about moving that is fun. And I should know. Since graduating college in 1988, I've moved 13 times (I had to count), with the current move being number 14. So this is a subject that I know a little something about.

Out of those 14 moves, at least 9 of them I did myself with the help of friends. We don't do that anymore.

Where I wrote this--temporary office

And over the years I've added and subtracted, gained and purged a lot of stuff. When we came to Cincinnati from Atlanta in 2009, we moved from a 2600 sq. ft. house to a 1300 sq. ft. rental house. Since living here we downsized to an 1100 sq. ft. apartment. And now we are moving back to an 1800 sq. ft. house.

But back to the question. Why does it take so long?

Here are my thoughts: First, you have to give notice at your job if you are leaving it. I finished work at the palatial digs of WCPO on Sept. 25th. I gave them notice on the 7th. That is 18 days. And what's worse, I knew I was leaving at the end of August. I just couldn't say anything.

Maybe that is why this seems like such a long process: We've known we were moving for 60-plus days and are just now getting to do it.

Anyway, continuing on my list: You have to find someplace to live. Sometimes that is easy, sometimes it isn't. We were lucky. We are friends with our realtor and she's helped us in no short order; sell 2-condos, buy 2-houses and sell 1-house. She knows us pretty well and what we like. We found a place in a matter of a couple of days. Specifically, in one weekend.

Then there is the move itself, which may be one of the single most stressful things you'll ever do in your life. Yes, it was easier, to an extent, when you did it yourself. It's much more difficult when movers are involved.

We got estimates from 2 sets of movers. And believe it or not, the cost was nearly $2000 different. For the same stuff. To pack and load our stuff, which there is no longer a ton of; and to move it to Georgia.

You then have to schedule them..in advance to do it.

Sept. 2009 the move to Cincy

They came yesterday (Tues. the 4th) to move our stuff and I now sit, writing this in an empty apartment. TLB is cleaning parts of it that I didn't yesterday and we drive down to Georgia tomorrow (6th).

I've never been so ready to be done with something my entire life. No, I don't have a job down in Atlanta (yet), I think it won't take as long as it did here in Cincinnati (6-months). So I'm a little anxious about that. But it's also a lot easier to find something in the town you are living in than from 500+ miles away.

I know, it will all be over soon and we'll be spending our weekend unpacking our stuff and finding out how much we need to fill up the house. I look forward to that.

I guess though I really shouldn't complain too much. It does pale in comparison to the move up to Cincinnati. That one, we knew about at the end of March 2009, we didn't get to move until that September.

Guess this kind of sums it up...and it is one of my favorite songs of all-time:

Maybe I'm Amazed

Best I could do with a camera phone and no zoom

Betcha thought you'd never hear from me again on this blog...did ya? Or am I so predictable that you knew I'd eventually come back.

Ah...it's probably a little of both.

Really, the big reason I'm back is because I wanted to share about a great concert we saw last week (Aug.4th).

We saw Sir Paul McCartney play Great American Ball Park here in Cincinnati.

And yeah, he was every bit as good, or better than advertised.

The video screen

We've all, or at least I think we've all been to big, stadium concerts growing up. For me, it was the "Rock Superbowls." Me, my first big concert was a "Rock Superbowl" in 1983 (I'm old), featuring Journey, Bryan Adams, Sammy Hagar and Aerosmith. It was a drizzly late-summer day in Orlando, Florida and we went to the now Citrus Bowl (former Tangerine Bowl) and sat in the metal bleacher seats for 4 hours.

It was pretty impressive.

But not as impressive as Sir Paul. Think about it. A 69-year-old "Rock Legend". He's put in the time, toured for years and lived the life. Yet he popped up on stage on a 85-degree, humid night in a Red Sport coat ready to entertain.

And entertain he did. For not one, not two, but three hours. No opening act. No sitting down and taking a water break. No intermission. Three hours of non-stop hits from the Beatles, to Wings, to McCartney the solo artist.

Oddly, there was a mix of ages in the crowd. Mostly older, there was a healthy amount of teenagers and twenty year old's too. And they got it.

For me, it was nostalgic and as the Lovely Bride will tell you, I was "Way" into it. So into it that my voice was shot for a day and a half afterwards. For those my age, McCartney's music was stuff we heard as kids and made you think about that time.

Me and the Lovely Bride in our seats..

It was impossible to not smile. And laugh. And sing. We did all of that.

So you are probably asking, why are you giving us a concert review?

And the answer is two reasons: One, because if you are above the age of 30, you must go see him play live if you can. And two, for those of us with bucket lists, it's one more thing that I can now scratch off.

Here's some kinda crappy cellphone video of "Live and Let Die", this was so cool the video doesn't begin to do it justice: