Letter to The Chief: Catching Up On Things

Dear Chief,

I've been trying to figure out the best way to write you for the past few days. I finally just decided that I can't put it off, it's time to catch up.

It's been a full year today (Nov.22nd) since you've gone and yeah, you've been missed. A lot. I still remember our last Sunday night call and will never forget it. I never told you enough how much I looked forward to that call. It is and was always the best way to kick off my week.

Sure, we've visited a few times in the past year. And I've always tried to catch you up on things when Michelle and I came to see you.

And it's getting busy again.

The first part of the year was a challenge. I had a few health issues early in the year and it was a little scary. Turns out I have the same problem you did: Vasovagal Syncopathy. I passed out twice (both times at Hospital) and spent some time in Intensive Care. It really sucked. The second time I passed out, I landed on my head and got a really bad concussion. I'm not sure I've ever been more scared about my own mortality.

It took a couple of weeks for the concussion symptoms to go away. Quite possibly one of the weirdest feelings/experiences of my life.

And then there was my foot. I had a pretty big bone spur on my heel that I had to get removed. That was a little more routine, it was a tamer version of my ankle surgery. The procedure was a success.

Finally there was my shoulder. You always told me I'd have problems when I got older if I kept carrying around the big camera.

You were right.

I hurt my rotator cuff, again. This time it was a small tear, but I lost all strength in my right arm for about two weeks. We thought it might lead to surgery, but I was able to rehabilitate it. But not before I had an MRI. The doctor looked at it and just kind of smiled. He said "You're lucky. You have a very small tear, but it should heal without surgery. But you also have arthritis and the tendons are pretty worn." I didn't laugh, but all I could think of was your warning.

Thankfully, my health has improved. A lot. I've lost 40 pounds since last fall (2012). I'm down to just over 220 and to be honest, am in the best shape I've been since I was at Lake Brantley. I ran in another 5K this summer and did really well and I'm in the gym 3-times a week. But the thing you'll be happiest about is changing my diet. I don't drink sweet tea at all. I'm very careful about what I eat and how much I eat. And boy, it's really made a difference.

Work has been really good. I love the people I work with, they are an absolute blast, I really look forward to going in and teaming up with them. My role continues to evolve, I'm trying to come up with more stories to do, some days it's harder than others, but I keep pushing forward.

I get to go to California in a couple of weeks. Work is sending me there as part of a team looking to add new 4K video technology to The Network. It should be a great learning experience and I'm really looking forward to the project.

As for Michelle, she's doing good.  She really misses you though. As much as I loved talking with you, I think she may have loved it more. And she, like me, thinks about you…a lot.

She continues doing amazing things at work. She's launched at least 3 more of her websites and has become quite the Producer of Videos. I always get a laugh about that, I'm sure you are too, never thought she'd start moving into my world, but she is.

She still travels a lot, but not as much as last year (or so it seems). And she's very close to getting her Gold Status back. You'd be proud. She got us a free flight to Louisiana last month and we've yet to pay for the hotel we stay at in Lafayette. We always use points to pay for it.

You'll be glad to know we are working on a plan to move her mom up here. Gale's actually open to it now. We've just gotta find the right fit and put our game plan in action. We're hoping she'll be here by this time next year.

Rosie is doing well. She's 2 now and starting to become a grown up pup. You taught me very well about raising dogs, but I'm still a softie most of the time. Still, Rosie is a sweetheart, you'd love spending time with her, though she has Daisy's wild streak. Only more amplified.

The cat, well, Oliver is Oliver. He seemed to really like you when you visited with him. And he doesn't get clingy with many visitors. He's still fat, but hasn't gotten bigger. He's sort of stabilized…

Both Oliver and Rosie are sitting with me now as write this in the loft, they both follow me everywhere I go, but that shouldn't surprise you. Plus it's Rosie's dinner time.

Oh, by the way, you'd be happy to hear the Braves are moving closer to us in Smyrna. The team just announced they are going to build (along with the County) a new stadium and entertainment complex at the I-75/I-285 interchange.

Yes, I'll pass by it every day heading to work.

If they actually pull this off, you'd probably love the idea. You always used to tell me you'd have gone more to games if there were something to do around the stadium. And you do know I always knew that you liked going to the games, even if you wouldn't admit it. I never got to tell you how much I appreciated you coming with me to the games when I'd come visit. It meant more to me than you'll ever know.

Yeah, I know that's a lot, but it's been a year now, and honestly, I didn't even get into everything.

There's a lot going on now, you know what they are. But you also know how much of a motivator you were when times were like this. And yes, we all draw a lot of strength from it. Again, probably more than you'd think.

I've had to step into your shoes for some of this and I'll be really honest. It's very strange to me. I don't think I'm not up to the task, it's just different. It's an adjustment. I didn't ever have to worry about watching out for everyone much because you usually took care of it.

Sure, there were exceptions, like when you had your cancer battle, but I'm not sure back then I could handle what I've got to do now. But I'm very sure I'm up to it now. You probably have no idea how much I learned from watching you deal with that and other things. I learned a lot. A lot about you and a lot about our family, but I also learned a lot about myself. You also told me once you've never met anyone who "Learned so much by watching others" as I did. That's exactly what happened.

Between that and Michelle being there to keep me humble, focused and grounded, I'm trying to make things better for everyone the best I can. And I will continue to do that. I'm very sure I'll make some mistakes, but like always I'll learn and not repeat them. I'll get better at it. I will continue living what you always told me, "Take what you think is a weakness and make it a strength". I have to.

Most of all, I just wanted to tell you how much I miss you. As much as we all move on, as much as things change I just want you to continue to be proud. As many times you tried to tell me we were different, we were--and are more than same than either one of us ever thought we'd be.

Much love and we'll come visit you in a couple days,

Phil


This is forever attached to you:

How Time Flies: Re-Living The Past and Football Weekends

Me at UGA/Kentucky Game

I think it was the 55 degree morning. Getting up on a clear, sunny Saturday morning to walk Rosie. Just me and the dog, nobody else out in the neighborhood at 7:30 on a slightly crisp and pleasant morning.

But it all came back to me in a rush.

It felt like a football Saturday. It felt like a morning from back in 2003, 04, 05, 06, 07 or 08. And during that time for me, it was all about the football.

And a lack of sleep.

My weekends for 5-years, from late August to early December were totally booked. They were a blur. Most weeks, High School Football on Friday, Georgia football on Saturday and Falcons on Sunday.

And no, I wasn't going to any of those games to watch.

Friday was Football Friday. It was what I called our High School Football segment. And since I was the Sports Photographer and Producer at WGCL-TV in Atlanta, I could call it whatever I wanted to.

For the first two years, it was come in at 2, make sure everyone had their assignments, then wait for the helicopter to come pick up Mark Harmon and I. We flew to two games shot a little from the air, shot a little from the ground and moved on. Fly back to the midtown Atlanta offices and edit our story.

From there, it was making sure the other 4 guys shooting for us got back and they edited their games. A lot of times it meant sitting with them and writing their game script too.

Me at UGA/Alabama game

Then go sit in the control room, make sure we had the time we needed for our segment and we were done.

If I was lucky, I was home by 12:30, in bed by 1 or 1:30 and then....

Georgia Saturday's. I think this is why I always look back and reminisce at some point during the football season. I got to cover these guys for 6 years and co-wrote a book on them.

It was my favorite part of football season.

A typical day (like Saturday's LSU game) is for a 3:30 p.m kick, up by 8, at the station by 10 and out the door. It took at least 90 minutes to get to the stadium, if we left later, it would be even longer. Lunch in the press box with the gang.

At that time, we did a post game show after the games. It was mostly live, so we had 5-10 people there with us. The 1st couple years it was all live at the stadium (we scaled back later). Which meant we were going the whole time.

A 3:30 kickoff meant the game ended around 7. I was the lead on site, so I made the assignments. 1-2 live cameras, a runner and then I took care of the post game. That meant running into the locker room, getting 5-10 interviews and sprinting back to the truck to turn a couple of them for the show.

Me at UGA Game with the guys

And finally, after the show ended, editing together an interview/highlight story for the 11 p.m show.

By the time I got back, dropped everyone off and got home. It was 11p.m.  collapsing in bed by midnight. It was a long day.

And then....

If the Falcons were at home, the alarm went off at 8 for a 1p.m kickoff. I was at the station by 10 and at the Georgia Dome by 10:30 or 11. Lunch in the press room and on the field by 12:30. Shoot the game, get post, go back and edit together a story.

Me at Falcons/Bears game

As an added bonus, during the 2006 season, I had to work the Falcons games and produce the Sunday night 30 minute wrap up show we did.

That was a typical weekend and at the time I loved it.

I could never do it now. And I say that knowing a lot of guys who still do. Blaine Kummert at WAGA, Eric Hager at WSB in Atlanta. Bob Kusek and Brian McKeegan in Nashville. Philip Lee and Mark Slaughter in Cincinnati. And there are more.

I love, admire and respect all those guys and in some ways, miss them.

But I could never do that schedule again.

Never.

Ironically. My life no longer revolves around football games. I work at the Weather Channel and love it. I'm not working on the weekends. But I'd rather go to a festival or hit golfballs or go to someplace cool for dinner than plan my weekend around a football game.

Sure, I get grief from my friends, but they may...or may not understand. My entire life revolved around football games for a long, long time. I have no interest in going back to it....

When the Warranty Runs Out

My office for the week

Okay, I'll say it.

It sucks getting old.

Now that I'm much closer to 50 than 40, things that used to work well are working slower and in some cases, aren't working at all. (And before you say it, the part you are thinking of, works just fine---dirty minded bastards)

I say this as I lay in bed, with my foot propped up under 3 pillows with a soft cast on. And as much as I'd like to say surgery on my heel has been my only issue this year, it hasn't been.

A lot of the cliches you hear growing up have some truth to them. As a teen, I was told repeatedly to take better care of my ankle injuries because it would catch up to me when I'm older. In my 20's, if you carry a camera too long, you'll end up with bad shoulders. My 30's, slow down, you are working too much and protect your eye's the more you strain them the worse they are going to get.

And every one of those sayings came true.

The ankle part I kind of expected. I played sports as a kid and was very active. Playing basketball, my ankles rolled, a lot. And they got worse after the BIG injury. As a high school junior, I was playing in a Spring game when I came down on someone's foot grabbing a rebound, turned my ankle all the way right and left. Blew out all the ligaments and tendons.

My high school graduation present--ankle surgery and this from my doctor--"Just so you know, you'll deal with arthritis in your ankle from here on in". And as a teen, I just shrugged it off.

In my 20's, I began my TV career as a Video Photographer and Producer. I loved what I did and was good at it. I carried a camera until I was 44-years old. And it the 5,6 and sometimes 7 days a week of carrying a 20+ pound anchor on my right shoulder, eventually took a toll. Rotator cuff problems and arthritis at the end. I could barely raise my arm over my head.

Shooting Sports Back in the Day

The 30's, it was my eyes. Imagine growing up with perfect eyesight and starting a career in the visual arts. And one day you are sprawled out on the couch reading a book. You decide to get up and fall over from dizziness. Only to find out your eyes were messed up from straining because you can't see as well as you used to.

And it's gotten progressively worse. Some 15-years later, I can't see anything without my glasses. Anything. If you see me driving a car without either my prescription sunglasses or regular glasses on, you probably need to get out of the way. Heck, as recently as 2006, I could go work a football game during the day and shoot with non-prescription sunglasses on. Did it all the time and was one of the best Sports Photographers in the business. Today, I couldn't do it if I wanted to. I can't look in the viewfinder and see anything but a blur. And as an added bonus, I apparently have a cyst in one of my eyes, I'm going to see a specialist about it next week.

Once you cross the 40 threshold weird things begin happening too. I got a surprise trip to the hospital at the end of February. The reason. Apparently I suffer from Vasovagal Syncopothy (sp?). I passed out twice in the span of 12 hours. Thankfully, the Lovely Bride got me to the hospital, because I could feel the 1st one coming. And apparently, I passed out in the ER waiting room right after someone asked me my name. I woke up a few minutes later in a trauma room having no idea what happened. The second time was in the hospital after being kept for observation, I passed out and landed on my head in the bathroom of my hospital room. And that lead to a concussion. A serious one at that.

Concussion Recovery

I don't recommend ever getting a concussion, and I now totally get why Sports teams on every level from Little League to the Pros should make a big deal about them. Imagine waking up dizzy, with a headache that won't go away and unable to do much of anything but feel like you are hung over---even though you didn't drink anything.

I couldn't lay on my back without the room spinning or triggering a headache until very recently (2 months later). And believe me when I say this, it was one of the most miserable experiences of my life.


Which brings me back to the beginning. I just had a rather large chunk of bone taken out of the side of my heel. The growth was apparently an accumulation of fragments from previous injuries. Why take it out? Because, basically it prevented me from being active. I could walk on it. Even run on it. But that meant an hour of ice afterwards. Just going to the store was a chore because it really hurt afterwards.

So yeah, my point is this. When you are less than 40-years old, you consider yourself sort of indestructible, you can bounce back from anything. And to an extent, you can. But it takes a toll. And much like a car with a limited or even an extended warranty, it eventually catches back up with you. So be careful, but have fun. Don't limit yourself, ever, but remember, if you do get hurt, take care of it. Take care of it well and don't jump back in until you are completely and totally healthy.

As I write this I'm 48-years old. I've got a LOT of mileage on me, but I kind of enjoy being semi-active. I started working out regularly again and watching what I eat. I've lost 35-pounds since August of 2012. I plan on keeping that off and staying healthy. Even if the warranty has kind of run out, I plan on getting my money's worth out of what ever mileage is left.

On that note, I give you one my all-time favorite rock songs ever...