This story is a true life recap of mine and TLB's (The Lovely Bride) adventure this past Saturday night.The adventure started innocently enough. We are both big hockey fans and since we moved from Atlanta, the Cyclones are the only professional hockey we can go see that isn't 2-plus hours away. They play at the U.S Bank arena in the downtown area where the baseball and football team also have their stadiums. The arena is an older building, it seats maybe 10 or 11-thousand if full and it is the home of the team the locals call...the 'Clones.
((The US Bank Arena in Cincinnati//Courtesy: Me))
We got there a little earlier than we normally would, around 6:30 or so for a 7:30 game, bought our tickets and went in. We decided to take a walk around the concourse since we had some time and it was then that we noticed something a bit weird. There were a lot of odd groups of people together. Families, not with one kid or even two, but with 4 or 5 walking together and pretty much blocking any passage around the concourses.
It was when we finally went to our seats when we realized something wasn't right....well at least to us. We sat in section 102, on the lower bowl, top row. We watched as the 'Clones faithful drifted in 5 and 6 at a time and standing, no, attempting to get into their seats but taking inordinately large amounts of time to do it. That should have been a tip.
((Me and TLB//Courtesy: Me))
It got worse. Just before the start of the game, a group of about 8 slid into the row in front of us. That unto itself wouldn't be so bad, they were obviously handicapped, not in the physical sense, with 2 adult supervisors and were loud...very loud.
They probably wouldn't have been so bad except for two things: One, they stood up anytime the Cyclones got on our side of the arena and Two, they got up and sang at each stop in play...oh...and one of the kids (I'm trying to be pc and polite here) had a plastic coke bottle that he would pound against his head.
((Cyclones Hockey//Courtesy: Me))
That was one of our issues. Another had to do with Hockey etiquette. If you've ever been to a hockey game, there is an informal rule that you wait in the concourse until a stoppage in play to go to your seat. That rule didn't fly at the U.S Bank. There were a few areas where it did, but we weren't sitting there. So we were subjected to a never-ending parade of very large (not tall) people walking up and down the aisle. Mind you we were trying to watch, but it was difficult. What made it worse: We could see other aisles in the arena...none had the flow of traffic ours did.
Okay, we got off to a bad start, TLB was very aggravated and all I could do was shake my head.
So, after the 1st intermission, she wanted a pretzel. Being the gentleman that I am, I got up and bought one, put mustard on it since we both like that and brought it back.
She pulled off a chunk for herself, I pulled off a piece for me to eat with my left hand while holding the remaining piece of pretzel in my right. (This will be important in a minute)
During the intermission at the Cyclones games, the Cyclone mascot skates around the arena and shoots t-shirts into the crowd at various spots. This night, he chose ours. That's when we had our Seinfeld moment. We look at him, he looks at our section and aims high. Not good. He shoots the t-shirt. It flies through the air. It arcs. It spins. I am staring at it in slow motion and thinking "Oh crap!" "It's coming right to me". It did. Mind you, I didn't have a free hand to grab it. I'm watching it hoping...no praying that it dies and lands short, maybe on the kid with the Coke bottle, but no...it didn't. It finally landed...landed right in my lap, right on top of the pretzel, mustard and all. It didn't splatter...much, but the t-shirt, had a nice splotch...right where it landed.
We had to leave our seats and move to an empty upper deck section during the game and that is where it became apparent. We had been to 4 other Cyclones games this year and never had a bad time. We looked out at the crowd and just shook our heads. There was a strange group of people in the arena that night. We don't think they even realized that the Cyclones lost. No, I am convinced now...more than ever...that for a couple of hours on a Saturday night we either stepped into Bizzaro World....or an episode of the Twilight Zone.
((The mustard covered t-shirt//Courtesy: Me))
Check out a clip from an old Twilight Zone episode on aliens...that is what it felt like Saturday night. Thanks You Tube:
