Hail to the Chief: Has it Been Two Years Already?

Dear Chief,

Geez, has it been two years now? That is so hard to imagine. It still seems like yesterday when we talked on the phone that last time on a Sunday night.

Just like we always did.

It's always good to try and catch you up on things dad, because it's kind of my way of looking back at a year gone by.

And this one wasn't so great.

You already know about the biggie. Ilyse.

Never for a second have I doubted that she is sitting there with you every morning having your cup of coffee. And catching up on things. While keeping you honest and out of trouble. Which is a bit of table flipping, but then again, she always kept you honest whether you'd admit it or not.

It's so weird with her not being here anymore, things happened so very fast. Mom still says it seems like she's just off working somewhere and in a way it kind of feels like that to me too. It was so hard to see what happened, I'm not sure I could really ever describe it other than to say I was there for her as best I could be and it is still hard to digest, she is younger than me, it's not supposed to happen like that.

We had gotten a lot closer over the past few years and talked fairly regularly, all the way up to the end. Sure, we always kept tabs on each other...but we didn't talk as much when we were younger.

Mom is doing okay. She still has her good days and bad ones. I know she misses you terribly, but I'm proud of how hard she is trying to keep moving forward. We talk 2 or 3 times a week, I like checking in on her and I'm trying really hard to keep her spirits up and challenge her to do things.

Ilyse's friends have been great too. They call and visit mom a lot, they have her over and they go do things around town to get her out of the house. I can't describe to you how happy it makes me that they do that.

Jordan is doing okay. She talks to you a lot, I know how close you were. It's hard to believe she has 2 kids now, but she is so good with them, such a doting mom. And she's showing signs of growing up a little. It's been a challenge, but she does act responsibly more often than not these days. Sure, she has days where it's all about her, but she really has made the effort to be better about helping mom on occasion. Though I think Bubby has a hand in that too, he really does a pretty good job trying to keep her grounded.

As for me and Michelle.

We are doing very well. She is so incredible, the best thing that has or will ever happen to me in my entire life. We have so much fun just being together, doing fun things, making each other happy.

Things for me changed a bit about 2 weeks ago, I got laid off from work. It really sucked, they just ushered us (my team, 9 of us) in a room and said "You are done". It wasn't a total surprise, but it was very disappointing. I think the worst part aside from the crappy timing of the holiday season, was they didn't even consider finding other roles for any of us.

So I'm looking for work--again. Jon and Mark have done me a huge favor and got me some freelance work with them at Georgia Public Sports, they've been wanting me to work for them for years. And I'm looking hard for opportunities here, but it's tough. I'm not as young as I used to be and there aren't tons of opportunities out there. I have to admit, I'm a little worried.

Aside from that, you'd be so proud of how healthy I've become. I've kept the weight off and still run 3 times a week.

I did my first 10K in July (Peachtree Road Race), but you know that. I'm running another one on Thursday and really looking forward to it. I love the hard work that has to be put in to train for a race, love the sweat, really love the challenge.

Michelle is doing great. She always misses you, I've told you before how much she loved just sitting with you and talking about anything. She misses that, a lot.

Her work is going well as usual, she does so many things and Macy's leans on her really hard, but she always perseveres, always wow's them.

It's been tough dealing with her mom though. We got Gale to an assisted living place early in the year, which we had to do, but Gale has been bitter and angry at us ever since. We've got a lot of challenges to overcome there still and honestly, I don't know how it's going to play out.  I'm very worried her problems are going to roll into our issues to fix. I don't know when,  but it's starting to happen already. And it's going to be a problem.

Lastly, Rosie and the cats.

Rosie is awesome, you'd love her. Even if she doesn't play catch. She is such a sweet-natured dog. You met her when she was a pup, she's mellowed a bit. She's so much like Daze it's funny. She follows me everywhere and is perfectly happy to be wherever I am. She still has her moments, like when she chases squirrels or tries to eat acorns when we walk, but she is really well behaved.

The cats...well, we are trying to get them adopted out. It was a difficult decision, both are sweet at heart. But we are having trouble keeping up with them and maintaining things the way we should for them. And Rosie always wants to play with them, which neither like so much.

I guess I'll wrap things up now, I need to update the OSG website and see what else is going on in the world today. I don't have a ton on the agenda, but it's a Saturday and you know I don't sit still really well, so I'll have to find something to keep me entertained. Michelle has an event at her Wine Club (1st rule of Wine Club, you don't talk about Wine Club) and I don't get to go.

So there's that.

Hope things are well with you. I really, really miss getting to talk to you every week. I also miss just going to hang out with you and laughing about your old stories. But I'm trying really hard to make you proud, really hard to keep you smiling. I never wanted you to have to worry about me and I still don't. But I want you to know that I'm always thinking about you and no, I don't get sad when I do. 

I smile...

Mostly because I know you wouldn't want it any other way.

Love you,

Phil